PAIN .. PRAYER.. AND GRATITUDE … a perspective
So true. .... sometimes people come close to you, nay, very close to you, not necessarily because their affection for you is real and lasting, but because you happen to be their solace at the time of their grief. You just happen to fall in their path, like a leaf fallen from a tree.
This is, as if you were there to just fill a “void”, and once their need is satisfied by your "filling their void", they drop you. They change fast, sometime so fast that you are left in disbelief that it could even ever happen, that they could change about-face.
Result ?... You feel dejected and heart-broken. The more sincere you were, the more the pain and anguish you bear. They move on with their lives, not only leaving you in pain, but not even seeing or acknowledging your pain. Little do they realize how and how much their actions have affected you, or how sincere you were in your efforts to pull them out of their grief.
Finally, all you are left with is pain…extreme pain, a pain so thick that you can feel its density in your existence.
Does this mean that one should shirk away from being their solace, or avoid filling the “void” at the time of their need?
No, not at all. Instead, thank God that IT chose you as the medium to help them through their grief, or their need.
And about your pain, in your sincere prayers, offer this, too, to God, as your offering.
Is it possible? Yes. Is it difficult? Yes, very difficult, because DETACHMENT, though it is an answer, it is extremely difficult, especially for emotional people.
This practice (अभ्यास) of "offering", too, is like a Sadhana, except that, here, the practice does not make it easier when you encounter a similar pain next time, you go through the same process of self-healing through “prayer , gratitude and offering” to God one more time.
And then, PAIN .. PRAYER.. AND GRATITUDE … one MORE time.
My gratitude to God for everything, pain and pleasure.
-- Vijay Nikore
(original and unpublished)
"Non-attachment" to all the worldly thought and action as taught in Shrimadbhagvadgiita is the only way to remain unaffected from pleasure and pain. It requires a long practice to achieve this stage, but it is attainable. The practice includes an essential part of treating self to be an instrument in the hands of the supreme cosmic entity.
Dear Dr Sukul:
I agree with all you said above. To achieve success in our endeavor of non-attachment, we have to catch our mind "in the moment", or else our mind is likely to play its games "with" us and "on" us.